Thus, my 5-year old defined her (hopefully – first) foray into the fascinating and tough arena of international diplomacy.

The bad people, it turns out, have been “putting fires in everyone’s roofs and homes, and stealing things.” And, no, I don’t know where this particular story-line has come from.

I asked Tilly why she was going to fight these people, and whether she thought that this would be the most effective course of action – she is, after all, a five-year-old on the short side, and she’ll be dealing with more than one bad person at a time.

Her Mum suggested – in fairly typical Mum-stylee – that she issue a warning, after which further transgressions would see the removal of certain toys and privileges. Whilst I can see the effectiveness of this tactic in a domestic setting where the transgressor is the child and the authority is a parent, I’m very much unsure about it in an international crisis situation, especially when the authority is likely to be much younger than the transgressors.

I suggested that she ask why they are doing these bad things, and that she try to find out the reason behind them. There followed a wonderful conversation as Tilly thought her way around the problem.

T (Tilly): They are setting fire to people’s homes and hurting them because they want to steal what the people have.

M (me): Do they really want to steal, or do they want to have?

T: I don’t understand.

M: Why are they stealing these things?

T: Because they haven’t got them, and they want to have them.

M: How do we get things we want?

T: We buy them with money.

M: Where does the money come from?

T: We work for the money.

M: Do these “bad” people have money?

T: No.

M: If they had money, would they continue to steal things?

T: No, they’d buy them.

– pause –

T: Hold on, I’m thinking of a plan.

– another pause –

T: I have a plan.

T: I’ll say to the bad people “Don’t turn round!”, and then I’ll walk up behind them and shout “Boo!” and “Grrraaaah!” (making the shape of claws with her hands as she speaks).

M: Why will you do that?

T: To scare them, so that they know what it’s like to be the people whose houses they put fire in; so they know how scared people feel by them.

T: Then I’ll bring them together with the other people and teach them to sing songs together.

T: And then they’ll all dance together.